Bike, Bikes, Bikes

Not knowing what motorbike I should buy I thought I would try out a few. Not an easy job as they all have certain characteristics I like and dislike. So where does one begin? Well you should start off with one you fancy and go from there. I was not really sure which bike to start with as I like a few and having had mainly sports bikes in the past I really did not want one like this, but rather a 'naked' bike. Yes naked because there are no fairings and pieces of ugly plastic all over it. So naked in effect and you can see the engine and moving parts, which I think looks cool, a real street bike! So what will it be?....no idea! But I have always liked the look and sound of the Ducati Monster. So I checked out to see where the nearest Ducati dealership is in Bern and by chance it is not too far away in Ostermundigen. Having finally found the shop (not so easy) I was impressed by the size of the dealership, not only was there a large selection of Ducati's, but Triumph, Harley Davidson, Buell (never heard of them), Aprilia and many used bikes of various makes. Wow I thought to myself, even more choice and a lot of sexy looking bikes, so picking one will not be easy. Having spend an hour looking around and finding out what a Buell was I narrowed my selection (which was supposed to be 1) to 3 bikes that appealed to me. Firstly the Ducati Monster, then the Buell XB12S and finally the Triumph Triple Speed 1050. more to follow...........................

Watershed! F**k it!

Well this seems to be the attitude from the music industry...........

Roses are Red.............

What do you do on a lazy Saturday morning, mm, go shopping in the city with thousands of other people, stay in bed and be really lazy, or enjoy the beautiful sunny weather and sit in the park? Well I opted for the not so lazy and took a walk up to the Rose Garden and sat on the grass relaxing in the sun. Well to be honest I used one of the many free chairs that are scattered around the park, together with a small table and set myself up for a little snooze, and catch some shut eye, or maybe only 40 winks. So in my shorts, top off (oh err) and leaning back on my chair, feet up on the table, balancing (good pilates training), I was all set to fall asleep and catch some sun. After about 30 minutes, whilst getting slightly golden (English red) I was still the only one in this section of the park that was enjoying the sun. Ok, maybe I'm too British sitting out there and yes Mum its not good to sit out in the midday sun, but it was nice. Anyway, the only people in the Rose Garden were tourists, many Japanese taking hundreds of photos, so maybe I'm in a few dozen pictures and a couple getting married using the roses as a beautiful background. Well as I was in a state of not just falling asleep but nearly falling of my chair a young woman (around 20-25 years old) came right over to within 10 feet of me (around 3ish meters if you are metric) and started to undress. Wow, I thought to myself trying even harder not to fall of my chair, putting my toungue back inside my mouth and looking around for her boyfriend to catch her up. Which to my surprise did not happen, so I carried on watching without looking too much like a pervert, but finding it very difficult not to as she was so close you would have thought we were a couple. Anyway to keep you interested she bent over removing her shoes, then unbuckled her belt and removed her jeans, all whilst standing up with her back to me, bending over as if she was a girl in a lap dance bar (you get the picture, well only if you have been in the pussy cat club or some other establishment like that) and slowly removed her jeans, then off with her top she was left standing there just in her underwear. At that point I was nervously looking around for the hidden camera as I've seen these 'Got You!' programs on TV. But no nothing and nobody else in the park sun bathing, so what’s up with this girl doing a private show for me? She then lay down facing away from me; face down, but in a perfect position so I could observe her curves. 'I did try to look away' (I would say to the police), but she was right in front of me, not to the side, but smack in the middle of where I was positioned, so it was only rude of me to ignore her. After a while she got restless and turned over, again smiling at me as she did this. So I can now examine her from the front, again very nice. Well just as I thought this can't possibly get any better she sat up, legs apart, starting checking out those tiny little hairs on the inside of her upper legs. ‘Why do this in front of me?’ I thought to myself, was I dreaming, or am I just a naive foreigner and this is perfectly normal in Switzerland? This continued for 5 minutes or so, and I was tempted to ask her if I could assist her finding the little hairs that would be easier for me to spot from a different angle, but then I thought better of that and kept those dirty thoughts to myself. As we well know all good things come to an end and sure enough she decided to put her clothes back on and go. Not before some young pervert decided to also muscle in on the act and he positioned himself on the other side of her, again so dam close it seemed as if this section of the park area had to be filled up first. I observed him watching her, watching me, watching her, which was all so funny. After she dressed she walked past me and nearly knocked me off my chair and said something like; 'did you enjoy that?' well that's what my German translation book said and then walked away. I then looked over at the guy on the grass and although he was not looking my way I made the sign 1-0 to me! So is this normal? Are all Swiss girls like this or was she just flirting or crazy? But I can't wait until next Saturday!!!! Roses are red, violets are blue, come to the park next week and show me the view.

No Matter Horn

TBC